Essential oils for love and romance

Love and romance: the ultimate experience. Everything from heartache, heart break, war and peace to knots in your stomach and lumps in your throat. It’s what we all crave—but how can we heighten the love and romance in our own lives using essential oils?

A little bit of understanding

Well, with a little bit of understanding and some research, I tried to tackle this all-encompassing question—how can I use essential oils to improve or add love and romance into my life?

The first step was to look for words that I felt heightened love and romance. Here are a few to get us started.

  • Compassion
  • Confidence
  • Intimacy
  • Forgiveness
  • Joy
  • Aphrodisiac

What is love?

Trying to understand what love and romance is all about can be difficult. Love and romance include a strong degree of compassion and understanding, joy in the heart, passion and intimacy. Often, however, we lack these basic emotions, instead exhibiting fear, anger, frustration, overthinking or nervous tension.

As humans, it’s impossible for us to behave perfectly in relationships. Our own agenda manifests—our loving self fights our egotistical self—making it sometimes impossible to give unselfishly let alone receive trustingly. Knowing this about human nature, here are some essential solutions.



Rose essential oil represents love, trust and self-acceptance.

Rose is a “gentle tonic of the Heart, the key to rose’s psychological properties lie mainly in its effect on the Mind”. Rose’s traditional classification is as a “Herb of Love”. “The compassion of the flower is revealed through its ability to heal emotional wounds. When rejection or loss has injured our capacity for self-love and (self)-nurturing, rose oil brings a sweet, gentle comfort”. (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 113)



Rosemary essential oil boosts morale and self-confidence.

Rosemary “warms and invigorates both the body and mind, uplifting the Spirit and instilling inspiration.” It has the “ability to reinforce self-identity” making “it applicable for both a lack of purpose and self-esteem.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 150)



Geranium essential oil encourages security, receptivity and intimacy.

Geranium’s “exotic, floral and slightly spicy aroma is reflected in its well-known aphrodisiac effect – an effect that relates to its intrinsically sensual, liberating nature.” It is “ideal for the workaholic perfectionist – for the person who has forgotten imagination, intuition, and sensory experience.” Geranium “therefore helps to reconnect us to our feeling-life – to our emotional sensitivity, relaxed spontaneity, and healthy thirst for pleasure and enjoyment.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 77)



Immortelle (Helichrysum), also known as Everlasting, unblocks rage and negative emotions.

Immortelle has “the power to break through the deepest, most “stuck” of negative emotions.” Immortelle essential oil “can loosen the very hardest of knots lying deep within the psyche, restoring to the Ethereal Soul… its ultimate capacity for compassion – not only for others but first and foremost for oneself.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 71)



Jasmine awakens a vitality for life and love.

Jasmine “produces a comforting, uplifting effect on the emotions.” It is “one of the most renowned of aromatics for enhancing joy and love” and “can reawaken a sense of warmth and aliveness in those who have grown cold and emotionally indifferent. It is also helpful for the depressive states that can originate from chronic sexual anxiety – whether the problem is one of inhibition, self-restraint, frustration, or vulnerability.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 182, 166)


Jasmine, Ylang Ylang and Patchouli essential oils have notable aphrodisiac qualities, though each differs in its purpose and delivery.

Jasmine “is a potent aphrodisiac. It is indicated, in particular, for the habitually self-restrained and emotionally inhibited individual.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 182)


Ylang Ylang

Ylang Ylang is similar to Jasmine, “though with a greater emphasis on easing sexual anxiety.” Its “aphrodisiac and euphoric properties (are) closely intertwined.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 182)



“Patchouli oil is another sexual tonic…. It may be used by those whose work involves a high degree of pressure and mental strain. In intimate moments they find it difficult to relax and to fully inhabit their sensuality. The musky, earthy scent of patchouli oil can facilitate love-making through lulling the mind and warming the body.” (Source: Gabriel Mojay, Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, p. 182)

Self-realisation is a good thing

While we can’t all be perfect in love and romance, and all is not necessarily fair in love and war, the challenge for each of us is to discover our behaviour in relationships.

We can learn to be compassionate, confident, intimate, forgiving and joyful, so that we can both give and receive love.

And, with the help of a few potent and pure essential oils, we can all gain that crazy, sexy and cool love and romance that we all crave.

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